Aliveness returns
In which the body wins the fight for rest.
Holy hell, what a few weeks
Boy, is this post late! But we made it.
Good update: I took the DELF! Less good update: I have been sick with that Chicago cold all week. Yeah, that one. I also hurt my back before that and went through a bad spell of vertigo, the combo of which just absolutely seated my ass.
But! All things dissipate. Thankfully, I’m coming around and emerging back into life. Just in time for another cold snap (zero degrees today with the windchill 😀).
This is a hard time of year for me (hi SAD girlies), but today the ground is covered with a thin blanket of snow, and just enough flurries are falling to make it all feel very right. I surrender.
Alors, comment s’est passé le DELF?
I did it! I took the DELF this month! I forgot how much I love tests. This one has remained faithfully analog, in keeping with so many things French. Ya bring your black or blue pen, take your sheet of scratch paper, and get writing. I think I did relatively well on the group section (multiple choice listening/reading + essay writing), but won’t know for sure for another 1–3 weeks. My tutor and friend, Isabelle Berten, says to expect 3. 🙃
The individual oral part was the most unnerving, of course. In the spirit of radical transparency, I will keep you all updated on the results. Isabelle noted that if you get a perfect score on a DELF exam, it essentially means you’re a level above the one you’re testing for. So it was difficult to release my perfectionism and allow myself to just do my absolute best, flubs and all, but I’m trying to remember that, no matter the outcome, this is all for my personal growth and taking the test at all was a step in the right direction.
Have a poem, friend
I have a new poem out in the wonderful Waccamaw. They were kind enough to introduce the issue with a snippet from my piece (“I have hope, even if it’s hideous”), which I did not expect and was honored to see.
Time to breathe
Inhabiting this flesh and bones is difficult. In spite of all of this time on Earth, I still strive to do so many things “right,” and that means I inevitably get caught up in the overthinking of how to go about any of it. But time passes and the world keeps handing over its beauty, even if it feels hidden behind the blinders I’ve unconsciously built. The view beyond them is worth doing things very imperfectly. Reading, writing, moving this body, checking in with my breath, eating leaves, etc.
Winter is a time of rest, and if your brain fights you on that one, I bet your body will not. I’m gifting myself some rest until the New Year. I’ll meet you there.
KB xo